Today is the half-term break of my ballet class. I want to use this opportunity to reflect on my ballet journey so far.

I started ballet as a child for around one to two years. It was when I was in grades 1 and 2. I did not show any specific talents or interest in my ballet lessons. All I remember is that I was learning ballet lessons, as my only athletic activities.

It was the pandemic when I returned to exploring this ballet journey. I was in Montreal at the time. I was preoccupied with the fear of not going out for a long time. I searched and followed different exercise videos on YouTube. I ended up finding dance workouts more engaging than other activities. One day, I came across online ballet follow-along videos and decided to purchase some on-demand ballet lessons. I love the feeling of being a part of the piano music when I was following the video. I like the sense of unity when I was following the videos.

I then moved to London, UK. I tried different ballet classes on and off. My first few experiences I found ballet really stressful. Unlike my experience in Montreal where I followed the movements on my own without thinking about techniques and corrections, my mind now could see the differences between my own movements and other people’s movements. I hated how I was not able to move as beautifully as other people. I hated how I could not take this journey as seriously as professional dancers, as if I am learning a skillset. I was filled by thoughts of jealousy and self-hatred, and then I quitted ballet for over a year.

It was after listening to some friends who shared their passion on football (or soccer) and playing football weekly that I restored my interest in ballet again. “Ballet” quickly came into my mind when they talked about “football”. They are not professional players, but they still enjoy the activities as much as they could. I want to be like them. I want to enjoy doing ballet without being a professional dancer. I then did an intensive one-day ballet lesson and registered for a semester of beginner ballet classes.

I plan to move to the improver classes after this term, and repeat the improver level for at least one to two times. I want to be on pointe and do ballet as long as I could. This is my goal in my ballet learning. 🩰